Almost Famous

10 Great Douchey Writer Moments in Film

Jack Nicholson in "As Good as It Gets"

Jack Nicholson in "As Good as It Gets"

By Daniel Ford

One could make the argument that any character acting like a douche in a movie is a reflection of some part of the screenwriter’s personality. However, in compiling this list I limited myself to just those movies that featured a writer on screen acting like a true asshole. Feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments section or tweet us @WritersBone.

You’ll Never Write Well

Ernest Hemingway in “Midnight in Paris” subtly telling Owen Wilson’s character he’ll never be a good writer.  

All Work and No Play

Jack Nicholson, how hard is to write a play and not go crazy? Oh, you’re married to Olive Oil? Never mind, carry on with that ax.

“I’m a $250 a Week Newspaperman”

I’ve posted this before, but it’s worth including again. “Even for Albuquerque, this is pretty Albuquerque.” And the editor just refunds him his nickel! Challenge him to a duel at least!

Of Course I Won

Sean Connery’s character brags about winning a Pulitzer and then drops this gem: “Writers write so readers can read.” He then goes on to pretty much nail why it’s great to be a writer (regardless of talent).

Writing Women

Poor Julie Benz…she doesn’t even see it coming.

Miles From Sideways

Fine, don’t drink the merlot.

Nice Tip

I suppose you do have to give Johnny Depp’s drug-addled character some credit for actually tipping the waiter. The fact that it was a handful of change thrown on the ground is a minor detail.

That Was the Only Copy??

What the fuck is the matter with Michael Douglas in “Wonder Boys?” Oh yeah, he’s a writer. He just “couldn’t stop.”

Zen Douche

Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Lester Bangs in “Almost Famous” brings the douche, but it would be hard to argue that he’s not damn inspiring at the same time.

My Opinion Is I Hate It

One more “Midnight in Paris” Hemingway jab for the road.

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Hitting the High Notes: Our Favorite Musical Moments in Film

"Come on and twist a little closer, now/And let me know that you're mine"

"Come on and twist a little closer, now/And let me know that you're mine"

Productivity plummeted yesterday afternoon in the Writer’s Bone office after I polled our crew for great music moments in movies. My email was flooded with suggestions and it was too hard to narrow the list down, so I decided to include everything. If you want to join the discussion, submit your favorite suggestions in the comments section, post them on our Facebook page, or tweet us @WritersBone.—Daniel Ford

“Singing in the Rain”

Daniel: What’s incredible is that Gene Kelly allegedly had an off-the-charts fever and his suit continued to shrink during the scene’s filming (which may or may not have been done in one take). He looks happier than anyone else in recorded history. True love makes you do some dopey things, but man, it also makes you feel exactly like a well-choreographed musical number.

“Walk the Line”

Daniel: “No darlin’.” This could have gone horribly wrong. Instead, June Carter gives Johnny Cash a “fresh answer” and the rest is music history.

“Almost Famous”

Stephanie Schaefer: Great song. Great movie. Great scene.

“500 Days of Summer”

Dave Pezza: If only all of our post-coital celebrations could be this good.

“Wayne’s World”

Lisa Carroll: This is my daughter Maggie's favorite song and we frequently replay this scene in my car.

“Grease”

Daniel: Why wasn’t my high school like this! Even the supporting babes were hot. I would have followed Olivia Newton John’s leather pants into hell itself.

“Back to the Future”

Daniel: Best lip-synching performance ever. One of the best parts of this scene is the guy who was knocked out snapping his fingers to the rhythm of the song while still on the floor. Also, Michael J. Fox’s wing tips.

“The Sweetest Thing”

Former 1950s movie star and Writer’s Bone newcomer Sara Silvestri: The best BJ singing scene I can think of.

“Big”

Stephanie: If this scene doesn't make you smile, you don't have a soul. Fun fact: The producer originally hired professional dancers for this, but Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia insisted on doing it themselves.

“The Karate Kid”

Cristina Cianci: Can't go wrong with Ralph Macchio and some soccer.

“Pretty in Pink”

Lindsey Wojcik: I would be born a year after this film was released. However, I still have a deep appreciation for John Hughes' films, which all include some kind of musical moment. This classic Otis Redding song, John Cryer's wardrobe, and the record store all make this John Hughes musical scene stand out to me the most.

“The Big Chill”

Daniel: Everyone in this movie is severely damaged. That’s what makes this scene so powerful. All of the characters forget about all that ails them and let loose to some classic Motown. However, Jeff Goldblum can’t help being creepy.

“Groundhog Day”

Lisa: My husband and I consider this "our song (there may or may not be video evidence of us singing this at karaoke) and sometimes my life feels exactly like this.

"Ferris Bueller’s Day Off"

Lindsey: This scene exemplifies the power of Bueller's charisma. From "Save Ferris" to "Twist and Shout," Bueller can perfectly manipulate situations in his favor—and it's so damn fun! John Hughes' Chicago agrees.

“Remember the Titans”

Lisa: Gets me every time.

“The Bad News Bears”

Everyone’s favorite Upper East Side comedian and Writer's Bone newcomer Rob Bates: One of my favorites. And I don't even give a damn about baseball.

“A Hard Day’s Night”

Daniel: Simply genius. The Beatles essentially made a movie that said,” Hey, look at how cool we are!” Everyone loved it. Because they were (and still are) that cool.

“Casablanca”

Daniel: What a bitch. Good lord. Ingrid Bergman sure knew how to torture a man. Sam has sheer terror in his eyes when she makes him play the song. And Bogey crumbles pretty much instantly. Have a heart woman!

“Say Anything”

Lindsey: Only Lloyd Dobler (played by the lovable John Cusak) could make standing outside of a girl's window holding a boombox not seem creepy. Tell me: Was there a teenage girl that did not want her crush to profess his undying love for her in similar fashion after seeing this scene?

“Jailhouse Rock”

Daniel: My grandfather and uncle watched every Elvis movie known to man many times over.

"Inner Space"

Daniel: I used to act this out in front of family members. It took me years to realize they probably weren't laughing with me.

“Frozen”

Stephanie: Who hasn't belted out "Let it Go" at some point in the last year?

"Way Out West"

Rob Bates: A golden oldie.

“Guys and Dolls” 

Sara: This should be Sinatra singing but I'll take Marlon Brando and some awesome man dancing any day.

The Boneyard Archives

The Boneyard: What’s Up With Creative People Having Substance Abuse Issues?

The Boneyard will feature the best of Daniel and Sean’s daily email chain twice a week. Yes, we broadened the definition of “best” to make this happen.

Daniel: You ever find you write better drunk? Or at least on some kind of high (caffeine, drugs, sex, etc.)? Some people who attend meetings about stuff like this say that they drove or did something better while under the influence. Is it the same for writers? Is having some sort of heightened or distorted sense of the world better for writing? And is that why so many writers have so many vices?

Sean: A lot of writers have drinking problems. I don't know if the drinking made them better writers. A lot of writers who let the drinking get out of control become worse. MacLean began to drink badly the last five or six years of his life and his work went down the drain. Writers who drink to have good work usually have awful personal lives. The better question is why do so many writers drink? Is it because so much is going on in their minds that they can’t control it in the real world?

Daniel: Great questions as well.

I think in some ways, it’s not being able to handle living in two different worlds. Maybe the world the writer is creating is better than their actual reality, or vice versa. Drinking becomes something of a crutch that eventually overcomes everything else. You're either trying to live in your created world or escape it. Reality measures up or it doesn't. 

And hey, sometimes writers try to force the muse, especially if they think their work is that important or they depend on it for everything. It's like athletes doing performance-enhancing drugs. If someone told you, you could take this and be really successful for a while, but there would be consequences down the line, would you do it?

This from the two guys who preface every podcast with what drink they're consuming.

Sean: In the world we create, we have control over thing. We know the perfect thing to say to the jerk, how to get the woman, and how to overcome our fears. The world is ours, but we can only visit that world, we're not allowed to live there. So once we leave that world we have to confront the real world. We hate the real world. That is why we write.  When you drink or take drugs you are pulled away from the real world. Getting high or drunk numbs you to the world, and allows you to feel free when you are not.  The best feeling in the world is the first few seconds of being high when the real world goes on pause the worry that fills your chest breaks part.

And yes, I would do it. However, regardless of what you do, you have to pay for it at a later date. You always have to pay the devil his due. If you have a great talent and you are able to live off that talent you are going to have to pay for it you may lose your privacy, or a loved one, or something.

Daniel: Damn I love everything you just said. Damn.

I’m repeating this line because I love it so much: "The best feeling in the world are the first few seconds of being high when the real world goes on pause the worry that fills your chest breaks part."

I posted “Why do you think some ‪‎writers‬ (and creative people in general) develop substance abuse issues?” to our social media networks. Here were two responses we got:

Matt: “When your life is entirely based on deadlines, you tend to try anything and everything you can to slow life down. Sadly, one of the major ways to do this is with substances - especially alcohol. Also, when you talk at your laptop all day, you might as well drink until it talks back to you.” 
Jeff: “Because they feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to deliver material worth retaining. Feeling as though you've failed to any extent in doing something you love can lead to poor decisions, insecurity, depression, and no one is invincible.”

Sean: Also, Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead and I am heartbroken.

He was an amazing actor. I love “Boogie Nights.” He was amazing in that movie. The scene where they are recording the first sex scene and they focus on Hoffman's face and he almost starts to weep is so good.  “Mission Impossible 3? How great is he in that? He is such a great bad guy.  And now he’s dead.  

I'm just gonna miss him.

Daniel: I didn't see “MI:3”, but I have to now. He made every movie he was in better. Lester Bangs in “Almost Famous?” Fantastic. And that serves as maybe one of the most authentic writer movies of all time. “Twister?” Great playing a guy you wouldn't trust to do anything but chase after tornados with Helen Hunt. “Before The Devil Knows Your Dead,” “The Savages,” “Doubt.”

We talked about John Cazale last week, and while Hoffman didn't have that kind of awards run, he maybe had the modern day equivalent of being in a quality movie every time out. I need to go back and re-watch “Capote” because I watched it on a crappy television and the sound was really low. He was just great.

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