Presidential campaign

Hail to the Fictional Chief: 7 Movie Presidents We’d Vote For

By Sean Tuohy

It is election time again! It’s that wonderful time of year when you get into screaming matches with family members over their political views. With the looming fear that the guy who trademarked “You’re Fired” has a chance of winning and cause World War III, we decided to come up with a list of the top five movie presidents.

President Sawyer in “White House Down”

He’s stylish, smart, witty, and his best friend is a shirtless Channing Tatum. How do you not want this guy to lead the free world?

Also, he’ll totally admit when he makes a mistake. Like losing a rocket launcher.

He’s great with words too:

The President in “Escape From New York”

This president is so tough on crime that he turned the Big Apple into a prison. After his airplane crashes into a New York City prison he has to be saved by a one-eyed ex con. Yes, he is taken hostage and has a complete metal break down. Yes, he is a complete and utter ass that does not flinch when he is told that a lot of people died to save him. Yes, he is not really American, he’s British.

But, man, he sounds so distinguished

President Diana Steen in “Mafia!”

Steen is the first female president who brought peace to the whole world. And she played catch with her son on the front lawn of the White House. 

Also, she found Jay Mohr charming enough to sleep with. Something no one has ever done…ever.

Mr. President in “The Rock” and “Armageddon”

This president had one of the most stressful admissions ever. Yeah, Honest Abe lead a divided nation during the Civil War, but this guy was in the big chair while rogue Marines took over a prison and a planet-killing asteroid hurtled toward Earth. Both times he gave a killer speech (puns always intended)!

Presidents Kramer and Douglas in “My Fellow Americans”

Finally, a few cranky white guys we can believe in.

President James Marshall in “Air Force One”

Enough said.

The Top 20 Tweets From President Obama’s Last State of the Union Address

By Daniel Ford

I'm sickened by the political discourse in this country.

Ted Cruz sanctimoniously lobbying to bomb the Middle East into a parking lot? Bernie Sanders shouting at Wall Street to get off his lawn? Donald Trump transforming his campaign events into de facto Klan rallies? Marco Rubio pontificating in an empty suit? Chris Christie???!!! These are the Presidential turkeys we get? We need more orators and fewer class clowns.

I suppose you could argue we deserve it. Our short attention spans, reality television sensibilities, and willful disengagement from the political process make us easy prey for these windbags. And I'm not naive enough to think political debate in this country has ever been high minded. For every Lincoln, there's an Andrew Johnson; for every FDR, there's a Herbert Hoover. Thomas Jefferson essentially ran the first smear campaign (with the help of his lap dogs James Madison and James Monroe) and besmirched the reputation of John Adams, his longtime friend, to get elected and whine about nearly every issue for eight years.

However, President Obama, during his final State of the Union address, demonstrated that there might be a different path our politicians might take. I know he's unburdened by re-election and his legislative agenda is already a dead letter in Congress, but he touched on themes that should resonant with the electorate this campaign season. I’m not saying I agreed with everything he said or was pleased with some of the issues that were excluded (particularly gun violence), but the highest office demands the highest level of oratory and that’s what we were treated to last night.

These are the four questions the President explored:

Shouldn't all these political attack ads instead focus on the answers to these questions? Aren’t these questions the crux of what we're facing as a nation? Shouldn't our discussions around kitchen tables or on social media revolve around how to live up to President Obama's rousing call to citizenship?

Sadly, more attention will likely be given to Kim Davis' hair, Paul Ryan possibly having a stroke next to Joe Biden, and the Joint Chiefs setting a world record for holding in the largest collective fart.

I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. We can do better. I don't know if I still have faith that we will, but last night’s oratory makes me believe it's still possible.

Speaking of pontificating, that's enough out of me. Here are some tweets from last night that are both substantive and silly.

The Top 20 Tweets From the First 2016 Democratic Primary Debate

By Daniel Ford

I hope Democratic Presidential contender Lincoln Chafee enjoyed his moment in the national spotlight because it will likely never shine on him again.

Wearing an ugly, mangled, green vomit slide of a tie, Chafee gave a historically bad answer explaining his vote to repeal the Glass-Steagall Act (transcript from Boston.com):

“Glass-Steagall was my very first vote,” Chafee said. “I had just arrived. My dad had died in office. I was appointed to the office. It was my very first vote—”

“Are you saying you didn’t know what you were voting for?” Cooper asked.

“I just arrived at Senate. I think we get some takeovers,” Chafee said.

Well, thanks for playing, Lincoln!

Jim Webb had a couple of good moments (and developed a bromance with Doc Brown…I mean Bernie Sanders), but was undone by incessantly whining he wasn’t getting enough time to talk about each issue. Not to mention a creepy, somewhat unseemly smirk following his humblebrag about killing an enemy soldier who had thrown a grenade at him. If it’s any consolation to Webb, my grandfather, a World War II veteran, would have voted for him in a heartbeat. 

Hillary Clinton and Sanders gave solid performances and had a couple of decent standout moments, as one might expect from the two most viable candidates. Oh, Mike O’Malley! I almost forgot about him. Did anyone else think he looked like he was experiencing the miracle of television for the first time? Every time he started to answer, O’Malley appeared as if he was producing his very first YouTube video.

Easy jokes aside, this debate showcased an actual discussion on difficult issues facing voters. The Republican’s debates featured a chorus of: "Me, myself, and I." The Democrats spoke of "voters, issues, you." Now, I’m not naïve enough to think that politicians aren’t self-serving narcissists running for their own personal legacies, however, it is nice to be reminded of who actually has the power in this election: Us. The billionaires and millionaires can plow as much money into this campaign as they want, but they can’t buy every vote, and they certainly can’t take away our right to speak and demand more from these yuuuuuuge losers.

Speaking of losers… You may be wondering why I didn’t do a post like this during the Republican debates. Well, the other side of the electorate, to borrow a phrase from Sanders, is a national embarrassment. If those candidates one day grow a conscience and stop hating women, minorities, the poor, and the LGBT community, I’ll consider acknowledging the current crop of Republican Presidential aspirants.

In the meantime, I’m going to applaud Anderson Cooper for his efforts to prove that journalism isn’t dead and enjoy the top 20 tweets from last night’s debate. Feel free to vehemently (but respectfully) disagree with me or add to the discussion in the comments section or on Twitter @danielfford.

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