By Mike Nelson

What’s your song of the summer? It’s a question everyone always wants to know right before Bieber drops new tracks that give us a direct answer.

I consider myself “very qualified” to recommend good music. I consider myself “barely qualified” to predict what will be a hit song, as my music judgment typically ignores commercial success and radio airtime.

So instead of giving you a list of contenders for “Song of the Summer” and just re-hashing the work Rob did (okay, we do overlap on one song...come at me, Rob), I’m giving you something a little different.

Summer presents many different situations and emotions. Being outdoors more and interacting with humans will do that. So to prepare you for those interactions—with me, for yourself, for you to encounter, whatever they may be—I give you my Situational Songs of Summer 2017.

If this comes on at a wedding, I’m going absolutely bananas, and my gin and tonic is inadvertently spilling all over your nephew please get him off the dance floor right now I promise this will be quick.

I'm throwing a hipster dance party, which is really just an '80s dance party with stupider hair and less attention to hygiene for whatever reason.

I don’t care if it came out last year, this is the first summer this song has been around, and I’m going to embrace it because it is universally enjoyable and fits summer perfectly.

I’m an aged hipster and I want in on this '80s-style dance party, but I kinda fell out of touch and shower every day. These guys are still cool, right?

I can’t stand “stadium country,” but I like a little twang, and this is a good compromise for me and my country-loving friends while we take a long drive.

My friends visited from overseas two weeks ago, and they introduced me to this song...soooooo good!

Sitting on a porch, staring out at a lake with a bottle of moonshine, and I have no idea how I got here.

I need something on my summer playlist that says I’m cooler and more culturally aware than I actually am.

My son and his friends want to drive around and play “mailbox baseball,” but they only have their learner’s permits, so guess who gets to drive and has no say in what we listen to.

9 Situational Songs for Summer 2017