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‘Twin Peaks’ Recap: Parts 14 & 15

norma&ed_part15.jpg

By Caitlin Malcuit

Parts 14 and 15 together make for a poignant two hours, running down the list to check off a host of emotions. You’ve got heartbreak, you’ve got grief, you’ve got delight—rollercoaster sure does work as a metaphor here, because the lump in your throat and tears in your eyes are physical reminders of mortality. It’s red curtains for all of us, eventually.

Part 14: I Cannes Dream about You

The fine folks of the Twin Peaks Sherriff’s Department and the FBI bring each other up to speed on their respective storylines, but not before Gordon Cole nearly deafens Lucy with his shouting. Frank Truman reveals they have the missing pages of Laura Palmer’s diary and that there may be two Coopers out in the wild.

Albert elaborates on the Blue Rose nomenclature to Tammie; the case of origin involved a woman named Lois Duffy, who shot her doppelganger. The double, with her dying breath, utters, “I’m like the Blue Rose.” Agent Preston observes that such a color rose does not occur in nature—the fake Duffy was “a tulpa”—a manifestation of Lois, separate from her own consciousness. We, the audience, slowly realize this conceit indulges Lynch’s passion for transcendental meditation.

Diane is questioned about her last encounter with Cooper to see if Major Briggs ever came up in conversation. She claims that he did not, and learns about the ring found in Briggs’ stomach. Turns out Janey-E is Diane’s half-sister, who lives in Las Vegas with her husband Douglas Jones. They do not get along. In turn, Cole gets Las Vegas agents Wilson (Owain Rhys Davies) and Headley (Jay R. Ferguson) on the horn, asking them to round up Dougie and Jane.

Cole loudly announces to his colleagues that, “Last night, I had another Monica Bellucci dream.” Yeah, honest-to-god, it’s Monica Bellucci, even more cryptic here than she was in “The Matrix: Reloaded.” In his dream, Cole joined Bellucci and her friends for coffee at a Parisian café. Dale Cooper materialized, his face indistinguishable. Monica woefully recites a philosophical text: "We are like the dreamer who dreams, and then lives inside the dream. But who is the dreamer?" Cole is compelled to look behind him, following his companion’s gaze, and sees his younger self. This triggered a memory of Phillip Jeffries sudden reappearance in “Fire Walk with Me.”

Deputy Chad runs out of opportunities to sneak in conference room lunches when he’s arrested by his co-workers, who have their lunch on the table, taunting him.

Bobby, Hawk, Andy, and Frank head to the forest and Jack Rabbit’s Palace, coming upon a clearing with fog swirling about. A young woman’s body lies on the ground, but she’s still alive. Her face is eyeless; this is the woman who helped Cooper escape his interdimensional limbo. As 2:53 hits, a vortex appears in the sky, all staring at it—only Andy disappears. He drops in to the black and white from the premiere. The giant arrives, projecting a brief film that shows Andy the creation of BOB, Laura, as well as Cooper and his evil double. The vortex disappears as the sheriff’s team snap out of their daze. Andy reappears with the young woman in his arms. Our usually cyclical, repetitive deputy lays down the facts: the tall man is called the Fireman, who explained the woman is very important, and people want her dead.

Lucy and Andy get Naido (per the credits) set up with nice cozy pajamas and keep her in a cell, where Chad and a bloodied drunk also sit. Naido starts clicking and cooing, and the drunk grunts as well. Chad screams at them to shut up to no avail, and starts mocking them with ape sounds before he screams.

James Hurley, taking a break from his security detail at the Great Northern, shoots the shit with his coworker Freddie (Jake Wardle), obliterating walnuts with his grip. They’re heading to the Roadhouse for James’ birthday, but James has another b-day request: the story behind Freddie’s green, rubber-gloved right hand.

After a night of drinking at a London pub, Freddie was compelled to tackle a stack of boxes in an alley. But once he jumped, he levitated. Like Andy, he saw a vortex and was dropped into the Fireman’s room. Freddie was instructed to stop in a hardware store and pick up a lone green rubber glove that would grant him staggering strength. From there, he’d travel to Twin Peaks to seek his destiny. The clerk didn’t want to sell an opened package with a single item, but Freddie paid and decked the clerk, breaking the guy’s neck. The glove wouldn’t come off even with a doctor’s assistance. Freddie figured he’d head to Twin Peaks, but to his surprise, his plane ticket had already been purchased.

James decides to check out a noise in the hotel boiler room, but we’re spared a Winkie’s jump scare and instead find Sarah Palmer depositing herself at the Elk’s Point #9 Bar to get her Bloody Mary fix. A trucker zeroes in on her, but Sarah’s not amused by his (un)smooth talk. The jerk keeps hounding her, escalating with threats, but Sarah does him one better: she pulls off her face. The trucker stares in horror into a dark void as a floating mouth sasses, “Are you sure you want to fuck with this?” She fixes her face back in place and rips out the trucker’s throat. He drops to the floor as Sarah campaigns for an Emmy, acting as if she’s mortified. The bartender thinks something is fishy, but she icily replies, “Sure is a mystery, huh?”

At the Roadhouse, we’re back to another mystery: Where the hell is Billy? Megan (Shane Lynch) chats with her friend Sophie (Emily Stofle) about his last-known whereabouts. Megan and her mother caught sight of him in their yard, frightening them both. He dashed into their kitchen, bleeding from his mouth and nose before taking off again. Sophie’s face and the music darkens as she asks, “What’s your mother’s name?” “Tina,” Megan replies.

Part 15: Lights Out

Golden shovel in hand, Nadine Hurley marches down the highway and stops at Big Ed’s Gas Farm. Following her conversation with Dr. Jacoby, Nadine tells Ed that she came to a realization: she’s changed. She loves Ed so much, but, as she puts it, “I’ve been a selfish bitch to you all these years, and you’ve been a saint.” Nadine knows that Ed always pined for Norma, but kept them apart out of spite, taking advantage of her husband’s guilt. She just wants him to be free and gives her blessing to the couple. After one last embrace, Nadine swings her shovel over her shoulder, strutting out into the sunset.

Ed, overcome with newfound freedom, bolts to the Double R Diner as Otis Redding’s “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” swells, probably the best, most breathtaking musical moment of the show. He rushes up to Norma, telling her everything’s changed, that they’re free to be together. For the Double R’s owner, that’s great and all…but Walter’s here. Ed’s face drops, and so do our hearts. He slumps onto a stool as Norma tells her beau that she’s selling the franchise to him, holding on to the original location. The regulars are her family, and she wants to take care of them. Walter storms off.

Ed sits in silence—practicing his Transcendental Meditation® Technique, no doubt—but Norma’s hand slides over his shoulder. He swivels around and they hold one another, together at long last. Ed says, “Marry me,” to which Norma smiles, “Of course I will,” as Shelly warmly looks on, coffee carafe in hand.

Mr. C arrives at the Convenience Store. Led by a Woodsman to the floral wallpapered space Cole saw in his vortex trip, they venture to a new realm beyond the store: a motel. A woman with a shadowed face brings Mr. C to Philip Jeffries, occupying the form of a large steam teapot-type machine. C wants to know if he sent Ray to kill him—Jeffries did not call Ray, and never spoke to the doppelganger five days prior because he doesn’t have Mr. C’s number. The conversation steers toward someone named Judy, first mentioned by Jeffries back in the 1989 FBI HQ incident. C wants to know who Judy is, but the teapot claims they’ve already met. Jeffries knows her whereabouts, however, and spouts out coordinates via steam signal. He fades away, leaving Mr. C to answer a telephone, teleporting him back outside.

Cooper’s double is greeted by Richard Horne, pistol drawn. Richard says he recognized Mr. C back at the Over the Top farm. His mom had a picture of him in his FBI glory. “Who’s your mom?” Mr. C asks. Richard answers, “Audrey Horne.” Ruh-roh!

Mr. C beats and disarms Richard for threatening him, then makes the young man enter the truck. They’ll chat when they ride. Practicing driver safety, C shoots off a text that reads, “Las Vegas?”

In the forests of Twin Peaks, Steven Burnett and Gersten Hayward clutch each other under a large tree, the former twitchy from his high. He loads a gun to Gersten’s dismay, threatening suicide because his life is a mess. The pair are discovered by a man (Mark Frost) walking his dog, and Gersten scurries off, clutching her head as she hears a gunshot. The man walks back to his home at the Fat Trout Trailer Park, telling Carl what he saw.

At the Roadhouse, James and Freddie enjoy their night out when they spot Renee (Jessica Szohr), the crier at James’ show. Hurley the younger dares to say hello, and is promptly hassled by her husband Chuck. For some reason, James blurts out that he likes her, taking a punch to the face in kind. Chuck and his pal gang up on James and Freddie steps in, striking the men with his gloved hand. This lands the bullies in intensive care, James and Freddie in a jail cell, and starts another howling session in the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department.

In Las Vegas, Agent Wilson rounds up the wrong Dougie and Jane Jones. Todd Duncan asks his assistant Roger to find Tony Sinclair, but both are shot to death by Chantal. One down, one to go, she tells Hutch.

The true Cooper gets a piece of chocolate cake from Janey-E, enjoying it along with an airing of “Sunset Boulevard.” The mention of character Gordon Cole causes Cooper to pause the film in shock. His eyes are drawn to the electrical outlet on the wall and he crawls toward it, fork outstretched. He inserts the handle into the socket, blowing out the power as Janey-E screams in fright. 

The Log Lady calls Hawk once more to let her old friend know that she’s dying. She knows that it’s her time, but there’s always room for a little fear. Margaret and Hawk have a shared knowledge though, that death is “just a change, not an end.” They exchange their final good nights, and, after Hawk hangs up, a good-bye, Margaret. 

Audrey Horne has made it as far as the foyer of her home where Charlie waits. He’s even ready to go, coat on and all! Audrey still experiences periodic dissociative spells, blinking in confusion. It’s almost as if she can’t head out the door, descending into a pissing match with Charlie. He threatens to take off his coat and just forget about going to the Roadhouse (he’s still so, so sleepy, after all). Audrey feels like she’s meeting a different person, demanding to know who he is. Charlie sighs, removes his coat and plops on the couch. Ms. Horne can’t take it anymore, and rushes at Charlie and chokes him.

So they don’t make it to the Roadhouse. Ruby (Charlyne Yi) sits slumped in a booth to check out The Veils’ performance. Two bikers approach, but she says she’s waiting for someone. They lift Ruby up and set her on the floor. She crawls through the crowd, screaming violently as the concert comes to a close.

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‘Twin Peaks’ Part 13 Recap: Come on Down!

By Caitlin Malcuit

If Cooper’s Dougie limbo is a parody of Walter White’s fugue put-on in Season 2 of “Breaking Bad,” as Rachel Millman posited on Twitter, then Mr. C’s confrontation with the farmhouse gang is probably a take on the dick-waving contests on “The Walking Dead” between Rick Grimes and the Saviors, Rick and the Governor, Rick and anyone. Tongue planted firmly in cheek, Part 13 is a blast of an hour.

The Mitchum Brothers conga dance right into Bushnell Mullins’ office as Tony Sinclair cowers behind his desk. Candie presents Mullins with several gifts, on her A-game as she presents Monte Cristo Number Twos, diamond encrusted monogram cuff links, and the keys to a brand new car with a Barker’s Beauty splendor. They go to a BMW, and it matches Dougie’s!

Tony whimpers to Duncan Todd that the plan failed, and is given only one more chance to remedy the situation. He makes a stop to the LVPD, where the Detectives Fusco run down the results of Dougie’s prints. They match those of an escaped prisoner in South Dakota, who is also a missing FBI agent. They deem the story too ridiculous to bother with and crumple up the results, directing Tony to the back of the department to meet a Detective Clark.

Clark (John Savage—doing a great Harvey Keitel) is crooked, and Tony runs to him for and undetectable poison. But it’s gonna cost a good chunk of change. Tony believes that someone is on to them and hastens off. Clark’s partner saunters over asking what the problem is. Clark is in disbelief that Tony is going to resort to murder, and says he’ll give Mr. Todd a ring.

Janey-E, basking in the glow of her new BMW convertible and Sonny-Jim’s joy with his swing set, drops her husband off at work. Tony whisks his colleague away for a cup of joe at Szymon’s. The allure of a cherry pie drags Cooper inside the café proper, giving Tony the opportunity to spike the coffee. The waitress sends Cooper back out to his seat, but the agent zeroes in on the collection of dandruff on Tony’s shoulders. He gently prods Tony’s back, which strikes Tony as being too kind for his wretched soul, so he confesses. Tony dashes to pour the coffee into the urinal (prompting an amusing “That bad, huh?” from another occupant), and sobs his apologies. Tony dishes to Mullins—even though Mullins knew thanks to Cooper’s doodles—and Mr. Sinclair swears that he’ll testify against Duncan Todd, even if it costs him his life.

At the Saviors’ compound—sorry—in Western Montana, Mr. C pulls into a garage while Ray and a couple of burly men watch on a monitor. Ray’s not happy to see him, considering that he killed the guy, but big boss Renzo (Derek Mears) assures Ray he’ll get the chance again after they have a little bit of fun.

Renzo sizes up their visitor, saying, “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a new contestant here,” and dispatches Muddy (Frank Collison) to lay out the rules of the game—it’s “Over the Top” time, baby!

If Mr. C loses, he’ll answer to Renzo. Muddy’s giving him an out, and recommends that he hightail it. In the unlikely event that he wins, Mr. C is the boss. He doesn’t want to be the boss, but he wants Ray. To the table they go, and the arm wrestling commences.

You can guess how this is gonna go, and you’re right: Mr. C bests Renzo, finishing his opponent by breaking his arm and punching his eyeballs in. His prize is a new crew, some burner phones, and Ray, who gets a gunshot to the leg for his betrayal. Dark Cooper grills him, finding out that the hit came from Philip Jeffries, who hoped to have a green ring placed on C’s left hand to force him back to the Black Lodge. As the gang watches over a monitor, Richard Horne joins the viewing party. Ray hands over a scrap of paper with the desired coordinates. Finally, last Ray heard, Jeffries was at a place called the Dutchman’s, but it’s not real. That’s all Mr. C needs to end Ray Monroe, because he knows exactly where that spot is.

In Twin Peaks, a distraught Becky calls her mom at work. Steven hasn’t come home for two days, and she’s worried. Shelly tells her to head to the diner, and she’ll serve her a piece of cherry pie and ice cream, and, gosh darn it, Becky can’t resist!

Bobby makes his own stop to the RR Diner to pick up a meal, and bumps into Ed Hurley (Everett McGill) dining with Norma (Peggy Lipton). Bobby tries to exit, offering Ed space to catch up with his former flame, but both end up moving as Norma’s boyfriend Walter Lawford (Grant Goodeve) arrives. He’s also her business partner, and as he goes over a profits report, mentions that the flagship RR Diner is underperforming where her franchise locations are thriving. Walter says Norma sells her homemade pies too cheap, but Norma doesn’t like the shortcuts the franchise takes to make pies—they just aren’t as good.

Nadine chats with Dr. Jacoby when the site of a golden shovel on display brings him to Run Silent, Run Drapes. She’s thrilled to see her hero Dr. Amp, whose mantra helped bring her business venture to life. The doctor reminisces that the last time he saw Nadine, she was looking around for a potato she dropped on the supermarket floor. Their warm reunion stands in contrast to Sarah Palmer’s evening, guzzling alcohol as she watches a loop of a boxing match (not one of Bushnell Mullins’, though).

Audrey Horne still pries Charlie for an answer about Tina’s phone call, but he won’t spill. She feels like she’s somewhere else and somebody else and doesn’t know where she’s supposed to be. Charlie reminds Audrey that they’re going to the Roadhouse to find Billy, but she can’t remember where that is or how to get there, her steely doggedness coming undone. Charlie’s frustrated and warns his wife, “Now, are you gonna stop playing games, or do I have to end your story, too?”

At the Roadhouse, James Hurley treats us with a performance of the infamous “Just You” as Vanessa from “Gossip Girl” looks on, touched by his performance. Renee (Jessica Szohr), as she’s listed in the credits, can’t keep her eyes dry. Meanwhile, James’ uncle Ed sits in silence at his gas station, quietly eating his RR To-Go cup of soup.

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‘Twin Peaks’ Part 11 Recap: Crust Desserts

By Caitlin Malcuit

During a game of catch, a boy goes to retrieve the ball he misses and hollers that he sees a body. But that body is moving—it’s a bloodied Miriam Sullivan, dragging herself through the woods. Her survival— one people hoped for, but couldn’t be certain of—is one of many pins and needles that “The Return” keeps sticking into the audience this week.

We witness Becky Burnett’s bug-eyed, crackling rage as she learns over the phone that her no-good husband Stephen is up to no good with another woman. Without a car, she begs Shelly for help once again, so her mother dashes out of the RR Diner. For her trouble, Shelly is flung off the hood after trying to stop her pistol-armed daughter from doing anything stupid.

Carl Rodd sees Shelly in distress and summons his VW shuttle express with an alphorn-like whistle to hitch a ride to town. He also has the Twin Peaks police dispatch at his disposal, contacting them via CB radio to get a direct patch through to Deputy Briggs—Becky’s dad. Carl’s consistently a badass.

In Buckhorn, South Dakota, the FBI crew checks out the sight of Major Briggs’ secret interdimensional hideaway. Diane hangs back, helping herself to a cigarette as per usual. Hastings, from the back of Detective Macklay’s cruiser, guides Tammy to the precise portal opening, but exhales sharply when he spies a Woodsman sneaking around the dilapidated shacks. Albert and Gordon also see the phantom, and press on through the fence.

Gordon steps up to the spot, his vision becoming distorted with licks of flame and blurs as the sky opens up in a tornadic swirl. To the others, it merely looks as if he’s raising his arms to the sky, but Gordon sees more: a stairwell appears, and a row of Woodsman are lined up, staring back. A crackle of electricity intensifies, but Albert pulls Gordon back in time. In a clearing to their right, there lies the body of Ruth Davenport.

Diane catches a glimpse of the Woodsmen while the others photograph the corpse, opting to stay quiet while she watches it slip through the cruiser unnoticed. Hastings cringes in pain with the sound of a crunch, and Macklay is sprayed with the result. The detective calls for backup and Diane peers through the windshield. “There’s no backup for this,” she says.

Because she left some extra peepholes in the other woman’s door, Becky’s parents sit her down to discuss an out from her marriage. Red crashes the family meeting to Shelly’s delight, and she pops outside to see him as Bobby looks on with a hangdog expression. While she’s trying to get her kid out of a bad situation, Shelly’s falling back into old habits herself by necking with a new bad boy.

Gunfire breaks the awkward tension as it hits the RR Diner. Bobby runs to investigate the commotion. A woman shouts down her hunting-fatigues clad husband for leaving a gun in the car, which his identically dress son found and shot out from the minivan window. Bobby empties the gun as the child stares him down like he doesn’t give a shit (his father doesn’t either, apparently). The car behind them honks incessantly, so when Bobby attempts to calm the driver down, she verbally honks that they’re late for dinner and an unseen “she” is sick—and “she” really is. A child in the passenger seat slowly rises, arms out like a zombie, vomit sputtering out of her mouth. The driver screams as Bobby stares dumbfounded. This just ain’t his day.

Hawk and Truman, back at the station, look over a magic map that always stays current, matching it to Major Briggs’ cryptic note. Hawk notes fire and corn stalk symbols to Truman—fire can be good or bad, depending upon its intention, but it’s not traditional fire either. It’s more like modern-day electricity. The corn stalks are blackened, signaling disease as opposed to healthy, fertile corn. The two come together to form black fire. Truman asks about the winged circle symbol at the map’s top, but is told that it’s something he doesn’t ever want to know about. The Log Lady calls as well, warning Hawk that there’s fire where he is going.

In South Dakota, Gordon tries to steady his left hand, now shaking after his experience in the portal. He requests to see the photos of Ruth’s arm, and more specifically, the coordinates written on it. Albert brings out the image, catching Diane mouthing the numbers to herself. The last few digits are smudged, but Albert doesn’t finish revealing where the initial set lead to before Macklay and Tammy appear with coffee and doughnuts.

In Las Vegas, Cooper barely absorbs the update that the insurance claim on the Mitchum brothers’ property is the real deal and that he, the lucky son of a gun, gets to break the news and a $30 million check to the fellas! As it turns out, the Mitchums have already requested a meeting with “Dougie,” thanks to Tony’s machinations, and want to take the agent out to dinner. Upon the 5:30 pickup time, the One-Armed Man beckons Cooper into Szymon’s coffee shop and he leaves with a cardboard box.

Of course, the Mitchums have other plans. Bradley talks with Rodney over their 2:23 p.m. breakfast about a dream he had. At first, Bradley’s anxious to cap Dougie, but as the time nears, the dream becomes clearer. He has reservations; after all, Ike “The Spike” is out of the way because of Dougie. Rodney calls bullshit, but Bradley insists that, in the dream, Rodney’s cut from the fly incident healed up. The bandage is ripped off—the cut is gone.

When Cooper arrives, Bradley freaks out over the sight of the cardboard box. He pleads with Rodney that they cannot kill Cooper if a certain item is inside, whispering the contents to his brother out of the agent’s earshot. Rodney confronts Cooper at gunpoint, demanding to know if a cherry pie is in fact in the box. It is so—Bradley’s vision is confirmed to be more pleasant than the ending of “Se7en,” and a frisking reveals the check for $30 million. Belushi’s stellar performance here is starting to make me forget about “According to Jim.” Almost.

The ecstatic Mitchums take their new best friend out to dinner, where they enjoy champagne and some “damn good” pie. Just as a note from the restaurant piano stirs a glimmer of recollection, Cooper is thanked by the other Silver Mustang winner. The former slot machine addict, cleaned up and reunited with her long lost son, smooches her dear Mr. Jackpots for having changed her life for the better, letting the brothers know that a very special man is in their presence. Here’s hoping he gets to turn things around for the town of Twin Peaks, and fast.

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‘Twin Peaks’ Part 7 Recap: A Little Ditty ‘Bout Coop and Diane

By Caitlin Malcuit

In one of his dictograph monologues, Cooper recites to his off-screen secretary, “The trail narrows, Diane. I'm close, but the last few steps are always the darkest and most difficult.” He records this when the mystery of Laura Palmer’s death comes to a head, but the reveal of her killer ultimately causes the trail to widen. It veers off into multiple paths even all these years later, complex and overwhelming like the choking overgrowth of the Washington state forest bed. Welcome to Act II of “Twin Peaks: The Return.”

At the sheriff’s department, Hawk shows Frank Truman the pages yanked from the bathroom stall—they are indeed the missing pages from Laura Palmer’s secret diary that chronicled her long-suffering teenage years at the mercy of BOB. One page in particular details a dream she had of Annie Blackburn (Heather Graham—not resurfacing this season), foreseeing Cooper’s entrapment in the Black Lodge. Hawk can’t figure out how or why the pages got to the police station, but knows only a handful of people saw Cooper when he came out of the woods in the last series’ finale, including Harry Truman and Doc Hayward.

Frank tries to bring his brother up to speed over the phone, but he’s far too sick to sit through the call (Michael Ontkean, like Graham, opted not to return). Next on the list is Doc Hayward; Frank dials him up on Skype after twisting a pine knot, raising his desktop monitor through his desk. Hayward, played by Mark Frost’s late father Warren, remembers the night Cooper came back well, saying that he acted mighty strange the next morning, especially after he snuck out of intensive care in full dress. The Doc recalls seeing a strange face form on Cooper’s own visage.

In South Dakota, Lt. Knox (Adele Rene) is surprised to find that the hit on Major Briggs’ prints actually led to a body. Just when it seems clear that the body is Briggs, the coroner mentions that the corpse is only in its late 40s (Briggs would really be in his late 70s).

The FBI crew also jet back to South Dakota after Gordon and Albert plead with Diane (Laura Dern) to take a look at the guy in federal custody. Ten minutes, tops, are all she’ll give Cooper, she says, and with great anxiety, she raises the partition. Diane stands to face “Cooper,” who claims it’s good to see her again. She leans in, asking when the last time they saw each other was. “At your house,” he answers, but does he really remember that night? Diane says it’s one she’ll never forget. We’ve never known the extent of her and Cooper’s relationship beyond his tapes, romantic or otherwise. But Diane is the closest audience surrogate we have while Dale is in catatonia. She bellows, “Who are you?” at the weathered, soulless face of Bad Dale. She knows, like we do, that there’s a problem. Diane tells Gordon that man was not the Cooper she knows—it’s not time passing, change, or the way he looks—it’s something “here,” she cries, motioning to her heart.

Bad Cooper has a way of getting to people, and that’s certainly the case when he wants to chat with Warden Murphy (James Morrison). “Cooper” has dirt on him involving the dog leg, a mistress, and a man named Joe McCluskey, so the warden caves quickly in supplying a cheap rental car and the release of Ray Monroe rather than let face his own demons.

Speaking of cheap cars, Dougie Jones’ now-charred vehicle draws the attention of local law enforcement. Janey-E strolls in to pick up her husband, and guides Cooper through the questioning. The car was missing, yes, but it was found. It blew up and there are multiple fatalities, and that’s all Janey-E needs to know or care about because she’s out stressed enough as it is, goddamn it! She and her husband have to go home to their son, and he’s waiting for supper. As the pair leave Lucky 7 Insurance, the assassin who ice-picked Lorraine last week charges at Cooper with a gun. Cooper’s agent instincts kick in as he dispatches Ike “The Spike” in short order, judo-chopping his would-be killer’s throat as Janey-E pulls him off.

As Cooper comes closer to returning, Twin Peaks walks us through the town’s parallel inscrutables. Deputy Andy meets with the true owner of the truck that Richard drove during the accident; Jean-Michel Renault of the Bang! Bang! Bar keeps his family’s brothel business running; Ben Horne’s probably going to end up having an affair with his assistant Beverly (Ashley Judd). Like Ben’s brother Jerry, we may be lost in the woods and not know where we are (“I think I’m high!"), but the trail will narrow again.

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‘Twin Peaks’ Part 6 Recap: Call It, Friendo

By Caitlin Malcuit

“Did you ever see the movie ‘The King and I?’” Red (Balthazar Getty) asks Richard Horne, the cretin found near the close of last episode. Their hawkish features stare each other down—one steely, the other snarling and antsy. Red, moving the cocaine through Twin Peaks, is getting to get know the town. And he asks Richard if he has his part of the dealing under control, because, “I don’t know you yet.”

We last saw both in the Bang! Bang! Bar, basking in their smoky and sleazy element. It’s clear that tough-talk-no-nerve Richard is the only one out of his in this bleak warehouse, as Red flips a dime, causing it to float and spin mid-air, materialize in Richard’s mouth, then drop back in Red’s hand. “Heads, I win,” he tells Richard. “Tails, you lose.” Whether Red is another agent of the Black Lodge or if this is a coked-out fever dream, well, we can’t make heads or tails of it just yet.

Cooper is still working out his supposed obverse, stranded outside of Lucky 7 Insurance and tugging at the oversized cuff of the lime sports coat. A kindly officer helps escort him back to Lancelot Court—to the house with the red door—and delivers “Dougie” to ever-frazzled Janey-E. She fixes him a sandwich, then leaves Cooper to tuck Sonny Jim into bed.

The Jones’ life is a story, despite the crushing debt Dougie saddled upon them, that finds light and levity under the weight of our anxiety. Cooper’s childlike fascination with Sonny Jim’s cowboy clapper lamp brings literal light to the situation. Janey-E looks to bust through the gloom, and she’s not going to take any guff. She answers a phone call from the collectors, naming the time, place, and what bag she’ll be carrying for the money drop. And once again, Cooper follows the sparkles: he scrawls nonsense images that will incriminate Tony all over the case files after a vision of MIKE tells him it’s time to wake up, and, more importantly, “Don’t die.”

The disquiet snaps back like a rubber band on skin as Richard drives back to Twin Peaks in frustration. Red kept calling him “Kid” and he resents the humiliation he endured at the warehouse. At the same time, Carl Rodd (Harry Dean Stanton), owner of the Fat Trout Trailer Park, hitches a ride into town. A tenant, Mickey, rides with him, as Carl grimly shares that he’s got nothing to look forward to at his age except the hammer slamming down. He kindly asks after Mickey’s wife Linda—maybe the Linda we’re on the lookout for—who just received an electric wheelchair that’d help with her war injuries a great deal.

At the RR Diner, a grateful patron tips well beyond her means for the double helping of pie she enjoyed, with Shelly declaring to her coworker that they’ll treat her upon the next visit. Richard speeds on the roads in a mix of rage and drug-induced exhilaration. Carl sits on a park bench and gazes up at the sky before being watching woman playing tag with her son. Richard sees building traffic at the stop sign and weaves around, and it dawns on you in horror that everyone is converging at this intersection. He hits the young boy as he crosses the street, witnesses wrought with agony as Carl cradles the mother and son, the diner patron staring down Richard as he races away from the scene.

The thunderclap of violence doesn’t cease—it seems that Lorraine’s number is up, definitely landing tails after her failed hit on Dougie. An assassin (Christophe Zajac-Denek) zeroes in on both of their photos in his hotel room. He targets her office, making short but gruesome work of Lorraine and a pair of her office mates. Surely Dougie is next, but maybe, just maybe the hit will be called off: Janey-E meets with a pair of goons, negotiating her husband’s debt from $52,000 to $25,000. If only I could do that with my student loans!

Deputy Chief Hawk lands heads when he drops a coin in the men’s room of the sheriff’s department. His eyes wander to the stall door, eyeing a Nez Perce logo. His eyes scan upward, noticing a screw missing from the corner, so he decides to go to town with a crow bar. He pries open the panel, discovering several handwritten pages inside. Back in Philadelphia, Albert is back to his foul-mouthed self, free from the confines of network standards and practices. He trudges through the rain, screaming, “Fuck you, Gene Kelly!” as the wind bends his umbrella. He sees a platinum blonde head of hair in a bar. “Diane,” he calls out, as Dale Cooper’s previously unseen and unheard recipient of the dictograph recordings turns to reveal the face of Lynch’s longtime screen siren Laura Dern.

“Hello, Albert.”

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‘Twin Peaks’ Part 5 Recap: Shovel Yourself Out of the Shit

By Caitlin Malcuit

After two consecutive weeks of doubleheaders where just so much happens, we finally come to the part where not a whole hell of a lot happens in “Twin Peaks.” Almost a third of the way in, Part 5 doesn’t stray too terribly far from the arcs in motion, as it inches toward gathering more pieces of this seasons’ mystery. But it’s okay because this is, in David Lynch’s grand scheme, an 18-hour movie.

At the Rancho Rosa development in Las Vegas, Dougie’s abandoned car still sits, unexploded from the car bomb attached by the two goons who tried to cap him earlier. The assassins check in, reporting over the phone that the car’s still there, no lights are on in the house. On the other line, Lorraine (Tammie Baird) swears at them, anxious that she’s going to be killed over this botched job. She slams the phone down and texts “Argent” to a black box that rings out into a dim basement.

Poor Cooper has to face the 9-5 slog in his garish, oversized lime sport coat, as Janey-E gives him a ride to work. As she ties his tie, Janey-E goes over the logistics of paying their debt, but Coop’s not listening. He catches a glimpse of a vacant Sonny Jim Jones staring out, which causes Cooper’s face to soften and a tear to roll down his face. The music here is reminiscent of the “Twin Peaks” theme, coming in on a light and airy breeze as if Cooper seemingly rediscovers a message he once transcribed to his trusty Diane: “At a time like this, curiously, you begin to think of the things regret or the things you might miss.”

Cooper staggers to work, perplexed by brass statue of a cowboy pointing a gun. He also points, still in mimic mode, and heads off into the direction of the big glass building in front of him. At the elevator bank, Cooper follows a coffee-gophering colleague like a cartoon hovers after the aroma of a pie on a windowsill. He’s clamoring for the stuff, bogarts someone else’s cup and sucks it down like a baby drinks a bottle. He enters Lucky 7 Insurance.

Inside, coworker Tony, played by real-life bad person Tom Sizemore, tells “Dougie” that he’s covered his ass while he was on his three-day bender. Frank, who’s coffee was stolen, gets a green tea latte instead. He likes it!

At the meeting, a green light flickers on Tony’s face as they go over an insurance claim, saying it’s a legitimate. Cooper exclaims, “He’s lying,” which causes tension because it turns out Tony’s a star agent. This leads to a talking-to by the boss, which triggers some vague recollection on Cooper’s part when he hears “agent” and “case files,” the latter of which he gets a load to work on as punishment.

More happens in Vegas. At the Silver Mustang Casino, Supervisor Burns gets the ever-loving shit kicked out of him by brothers Bradley (Jim Belushi) and Rodney Mitchum (Robert Knepper), no doubt a nod to Robert Mitchum. Dougie’s car explodes after some punks try to steal it.

In Blackhorn, South Dakota, coroner Constance Talbot (Jane Adams) determines the cause of death of the headless John Doe body found with the head of librarian Ruth Davenport: someone cut his head off! “Here’s the headline,” she deadpans, because Constance is still doing stand-up on the weekends. She has much better material than the pilot of “I’m Dying Up Here” did. Anyway, the man hasn’t eaten for days, but she found a ring. It’s inscribed with the message, “To Dougie, with love, Janey-E.”

At the prison, bad Cooper takes a good long look in the mirror as his black-pupiled, soulless visage gives way to the visual confirmation that BOB in indeed in the body, and “that’s good.”

A drop of Cooper’s room key to a mailbox brings us back to Twin Peaks and the sunny delights of the RR Diner, where a young woman named Becky enters (Amanda Seyfried, also known for playing a dead girl on “Veronica Mars”). She some cash from Shelley as Norma Jennings (Peggy Lipton) watches with concern. “If you don’t help her now, it’s going to get a lot harder later.” Shelly concedes, “We both know that, don’t we,” as they were two members of the rotten husbands’ club.

Becky’s hops into her boyfriend’s car, a weasel shit named Steven (Caleb Landry Jones) who bombed his interview earlier in the day. The camera fixes itself on the dashboard, echoing Shelley and Bobby’s romance in the 1990 pilot. Steven takes out a vial of coke that he’s mostly finished, but despite her scolding, Becky helps herself to a little anyway. We’re plunged into Becky’s ecstasy in a fish eye and saturated shot as the tune of ‘60s tune “I Love How You Love Me” lilts around her.

We’re treated to the sight of Dr. Jacoby, who now has a public access television show as Dr. Amp, bellowing, “It’s seven o’clock, do you know where your freedom is?” He’s lighting the lamp of freedom, literally a diorama lamp with the Statue of Liberty—it’s like if Infowars was charming. Among his viewers are Jerry Horne lighting up, eye-patched Nadine (Wendy Robie) smiling. Jacoby flips to a pre-taped segment of himself shoveling out of literal shit, hawking his supply of gold shit-digging shovels. Only $29.99!

Some of the shit Twin Peaks has to shovel out if is its cocaine problem, perhaps buoyed by the new troublemaker sitting in the Bang! Bang! Bar. Smoking under a “No Smoking” sign, a young man (Eamon Farren) is warned to cut it out until Deputy Chad of the TPPD—who made fun of the Log Lady’s prophecy last week—steps in, assuring the bar staff that he’ll take it from here. Chad smirks and asks for a smoke; the young man offers the whole pack, popped open to reveal a wad of cash. This intrigues a group of women, and one, Charlotte, asks for a light. The young man tells her to sit down, and as she does, he grabs and starts to choke and harass her. It’s a wildly uncomfortable scene, punctuated by the honking saxophone pulsing through the club, and another pang that this show isn’t always so good to women.

At the Pentagon, Colonel Davis (Ernie Hudson!) is told that they’ve got another database hit on fingerprints for Major Garland Briggs from the police in Buckhorn, South Dakota. All signs point to the John Doe’s body belonging to Briggs. Davis is wary—this is the sixteenth hit on the prints in 25 years—but if it pans out, the FBI has to know.

In Buckhorn, Evil Dale Cooper gets one phone call, but is aware that he’s being taped. Staring at his captors through the camera, he darkly declares, “I know who to call,” as he punches the numbers. Soon, the prison is plunged into chaos, alarms blaring, lights flashing. Amid the cacophony, Bad Cooper says, ”The cow jumped over the moon,” and hangs up, ending the discord.  

In Buenos Aires, an Edison bulb lights the dingy dark basement. The camera pans down to the black box. It beeps twice, then shrinks. 

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'Twin Peaks' Parts 3 and 4 Recap: Doughnut Disturb

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By Caitlin Malcuit

Parts 3 and 4 of “Twin Peaks” were immediately available for streaming on the premiere date, probably to sweeten the pot for the folks who weren’t enjoying the abject gloom that permeated the first two episodes. If your last experience with the show was like mine, you wrapped up by watching “Fire Walk with Me,” and you were tonally prepared for the turn into the “Mulholland Drive” murk. Even though David Lynch and Mark Frost couldn’t help but play up the nostalgia of the lighter moments, it’s still a heartwarming reminder of the show’s sweetness. As these parts stand, they are a Dale Cooper triptych: the man himself is at the center, and those who love him wait in the wings.

We last left Coop falling through the chevron floor of the Black Lodge, into the glass box, then back through stars and darkness. He winds up on the balcony of a building floating through space above an ocean. The set is a gorgeous stylistic piece, tinged like a hand-colored print, all motion made into stilted flickers of a silent film. Cooper descends into the shack, finding a woman in a red dress with no eyes, gesturing wildly to the agent to decipher the fixtures and numbers on the wall. A horrific pounding frightens the woman into shushing him. They scramble to the roof, where the eyeless woman pulls a lever—she’s electrocuted and thrown out into the abyss. As Dale looks out, we see a vision of Major Garland Briggs’ (the late Don S. Davis) head float into view, calling out, “Blue rose.”

Cooper returns inside, and finds another woman in a red cardigan and eyes. She warns Coop about the pounding—that’s her mother, and sounds like a gem—so Cooper is ushered back to the real world via an outlet with the knowledge that “when you get there, you will already be there.”

As he’s pulled into reality, we’re introduced to a third version of the agent, Las Vegas cornball Dougie Jones. He’s apparently some earthly placeholder that will help to let Coop out of the Lodge—think of the bag of sand swapped out for the golden idol in “Raiders”—or is a plant by BOB to keep from going back. Dougie leaves behind a gross vomit pile of corn before Cooper forms in place next to it. All the while, BOB is sickened by this disruption and crashes his ride.

Cooper is now occupying Dougie’s life in a catatonic state. Those who think the agent is Dougie fill in the blanks for Coop. Prostitute Jade (Nafessa Williams) sets him up with a ride to the Silver Mustang Casino and five bucks to “call for help.” An associate (Ethan Suplee) and his girlfriend suggest Dougie head home to Lancelot Court with “the big red door,” where harried casino supervisor Burns (Brett Gelman) gladly sends him after netting a windfall on the slots. He falls further down the rabbit hole at home. Cooper inherits Dougie’s domestic life in the form of wife Janey-E, played with perfect anxious energy by Naomi Watts, and kid Sonny-Jim (Pierce Gagnon). Here, a vision of MIKE meets him upon waking in a familiar set of blue pajamas. Cooper was tricked, and both Cooper and BOB cannot exist in the same plane. One of them has to die.

Back in Twin Peaks, Deputy Chief Hawk gets down to business. He hangs up a Doughnut Disturb sign, and turns to old evidence from the Laura Palmer case sprawled out on the table. Something is missing, and he doesn’t know what—a chocolate bunny is literally missing, thanks to Lucy, but it’s not about the bunny. It’s here at the police department that we meet the new sheriff, Harry Truman’s brother Frank (Robert Forster). It’s through Frank that we learn Lucy doesn’t quite have the hang of cell phones yet, and that bad-boy Bobby Briggs is now a deputy. When Bobby enters the meeting, he spies Laura’s prom photo on the table, her theme swells, and he breaks into uncontrollable sobs over the old memories. It’s a cheeky callback to the breakdown everyone had in the pilot. When he hears what the deal is, Bobby reveals Dale Cooper was the last person to see his father alive.

In Philadelphia, Gordon Cole, Special Agent Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) and Special Agent Tamara Preston (Chrysta Bell) take a look at the gruesome remains of glass box-watcher Sam Colby (Ben Rosenfield) and girlfriend Tracey Barberato (Madeline Zima). No one knows the identity of the mysterious billionaire box-owner, but the meeting is interrupted by a call. Cooper’s been found in the Black Hills.

Before they depart, viewers get to see another familiar face. Cole meets with Denise Bryson (David Duchovny), now in the lofty role of FBI Chief of Staff. She questions Cole’s intentions in bringing Agent Preston along, because Cole’s probably being a bit of a lech, but the scene left us with some lovely words of wisdom. He asks for a little faith in choosing Preston, because back when she needed someone to take a chance, Cole told Denise’s colleagues, “those clown comics, to fix their hearts or die.”

Once in North Dakota, Albert, Cole and Preston meet with “Cooper.” BOB’s been scooped up from his accident, having been found with a weapon, a stash of cocaine, and a dog’s leg. The partition between agents real and not raises, and the doppelganger playing a sorry imitation of the good Dale gives a forced thumbs-up and requests to be debriefed as soon as possible. The story is that he has been undercover all these years in tandem with the long-lost Phillip Jeffries and was driving to Philadelphia to follow up. The contrast between the Coopers is stark here: even in his daze, good Dale retains his childlike wonderment at all he encounters; bad Dale is like making Bernie Lomax dance at a party.

The alarm bells don’t go unnoticed, at least, so Albert and Cole take their conversation outside. Preston notes that Cooper was heading west, not to Pennsylvania. Albert reveals that he authorized Phillip Jeffries to give Cooper some information, thinking it’d get Cooper out of trouble—this led to an agent’s death in Columbia. They both agree that something isn’t right. “I don’t understand this situation at all,” says Cole. Albert brings us full circle, sighing, “Blue rose.”

They’re going to need one person to take a good look at Cooper before they move forward, and while Albert says he doesn’t know where she lives, he know where she drinks—The Bang Bang Bar, where Au Revoir Simone close with “Lark.”

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The Time Presents Itself: 'Twin Peaks' Premiere Is A Beautiful/Terrible Nightmare

By Caitlin Malcuit

For the return of “Twin Peaks”—sorry, “Twin Peaks: The Return”—to feel like a waking nightmare couldn’t come at a more prescient moment. Perhaps, to prepare, you buzz at the small pleasure of a slice of cherry pie and cup of black coffee at 9 p.m. But by 11, those treats all sit in the pit of your stomach, churning in an acidic swirl of red and black. It feels like the evil that seeped out of the Black Lodge, smothering more lives in more places with some insidious smog. Time and narrative don’t feel so linear or certain. What the fuck do we know about anything anymore?

The two-part premiere looks and feels like the whiplash fever dream of a David Lynch feature, but the crack-of-the-neck twists unfold in excruciating slow motion. A looming dread, twitchy apparitions, and pulsing sound design may feel more at home in “Silent Hill” or “Jacob’s Ladder” than what “Twin Peaks” fans are used to. The knowing kitsch of the former incarnation is 25 years in the past, and the present is the gritty, slow-burn of prestige drama that everyone cribbed from Lynch anyway. That’s not to say we don’t encounter aesthetic mainstays—the title theme sweeps over white water and rushing waterfalls until the Red Room bleeds into frame. And that’s where we find Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) once again.

Following the replay of Cooper’s dream, Dale and the Giant (Carel Struycken) sit in crisp black and white. The latter implores Agent Cooper to “listen to the sounds” of a scratchy, crackling phonograph. “It is in our house now,” the Giant warns. “It is?” asks Cooper. The Giant replies, “It all cannot be said aloud now. Remember 430. Richard and Linda, two birds with one stone.” I understand says Cooper, even if we don’t. Yet.

For now, the Black Lodge is where Cooper stays. BOB, possessing our beloved agent’s body, roams free to terrorize mortals, grizzled and hardened, his hair a greasy mop with an equally greasy snakeskin dress shirt and leather jacket. His is a world not of diner pies and donuts, but the seedy, steamy underbelly of South Dakota’s rolling plains. BOB machinates the breakdown of high school principal Bill Hastings (Matthew Lillard), philandering with Ruth Davenport, the librarian who he’s now accused of killing. Bill’s predicament echoes that of Leland Palmer, whose poor, wretched soul we glimpse in the Lodge.

South Dakota isn’t the only new stopover we make in this return. In Las Vegas, a businessman hands over a bundle of cash and requests that his subordinate Roger “tell her she has the job.” In a New York City warehouse, a young man watches an empty glass box, seeing nothing until he sees something, all right. These new times, places, and faces channel Lynch’s creeping, anxiety-wrought approach to horror in “The Return,” punching you in the face before waltzing your numbed body around the living room.

There are some chisels taken to this darkness, however. They’re found in the familiar faces of Twin Peaks, population 51,201. The man who lifts his dark shades to show off his signature red and blue glasses? Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) is roughing it in the woods now, accepting a delivery of shovels instead of tropical tchotchkes. Andy (Harry Goaz) and Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) are still together, and their now-adult child shares a birthday with Marlon Brando. Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is still parked behind his desk at the Great Northern Hotel, while his brother Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) is all about edibles. These moments are few and far between, and for a brief while, we feel certain again.  

Staring down the uncertainty is Chief Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse), who fields a call from the Log Lady, Margaret. Played by the late Catherine E. Coulson, Margaret lets Hawk know her log has a message to share. “Something is missing, and you have to find it.” Hawk knows that he and the log are on the same page, but the poignancy isn’t in the potential that they’ll get Cooper back. No, it’s that final goodnight that Margaret bids Hawk, done in the quiet, human charm that “Twin Peaks” does so well. The heart aches to see Coulson say goodnight when she truly means goodbye.

Finally, what would “Twin Peaks” be without a stop at the roadhouse? We find Shelly (Madchen Amick) having a girls’ night out as James (James Marshall) strolls in, making flirty eye contact with one of her pals. Another friend says he’s weird (she’s right), but Shelly defends him, saying James “has always been cool” (he’s not). They all smile sweetly at one another, while a stranger (Balthazar Getty) directs a finger gun and a wink at the former Mrs. Johnson. For now, everyone is having a good time as the Chromatics sing us out with their new track “Shadows”—The Bang Bang Bar will have a host of rotating guest performances for this season. For now, it’s a welcome respite from the menace of the last two hours. It’s like having the most beautiful dream and the most terrible nightmare, all at once.

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