15 Thanksgiving Day Episodes To Be Thankful For

By Daniel Ford

Thanksgiving always seemed to bring out the best in the writers of my favorite television shows. All of my top 10 lists for a variety of shows includes at least one Thanksgiving episode.

Here are 15 episodes the Writer’s Bone crew is thankful for. All of us wish you a Happy Thanksgiving that features plenty of wine, food, and novel material!

The One With The Thanksgivings On Thanksgivings

I remember working at ShopRite on the day before Thanksgiving and thinking I’d never love the holiday ever again. Cranky customers, endless lines, and eight hours of standing and bagging were enough to break my typically cheerful demeanor (that cackling you hear is my mother who is surprised to learn I was ever cheerful as a teenager). However, one of the early Thansgiving episodes of “Friends” was playing on the television in the break room. I sat down with my prepackaged turkey sub and laughed at the gang’s football game for the 30 minutes I got to spend outside my own chaotic reality. As Stephanie Schaefer said in her post compiling her favorite “Friends” episode, the show “simply never goes out of style.” That statement is even truer when it comes to their Thanksgiving episodes, which always brought the heart and laughs in equal measure. Of course, we couldn’t choose just one, so…

“I Can’t Pardon A Turkey!”

It’s a well-known fact that I’m a complete homer for “The West Wing.” My younger brother and I would watch multiple seasons during our Thanksgiving breaks when we were in school. One Thanksgiving Day, we resolved to watch the show all night. We hadn’t anticipated how much apple pie we were going to consume, so we didn’t make it much further than an episode and a half. Re-watching the holiday episodes always make me think of him and the amount of time we spent hanging out with the show in the background. The following two scenes never fail to elicit a laugh no matter what kind of day I’m having.

A Side of Slapsgiving

For all the misgivings I have about how the creators of “How I Met Your Mother” ended the series, I can’t argue with the simple brilliance of “Slapsgiving” and “Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap.”

The Thanksgiving of Misfit Toys

The way this scene escalates is brilliant. Diane’s plea for peace is rudely interrupted as expected, and the skirmish turns into outright war. The best part is that the loveable losers end up smiling, laughing, and toasting at the end. Like most episodes, the group learns they are in this life together regardless of what tortured hijinks they inflict on each other. Vera catching a pie in the face in the final scene is nothing short of inspired.   

A Walton Thanksgiving Reunion

As much as I loved the original show, I’ve always had a special place in my heart for this reunion episode of “The Waltons.” It may have had something to do with John Boy becoming a television news anchor.   

A No-Nuclear Family Thanksgiving

Remember family comedies that featured a family that actually liked each other? I’m guessing the “Modern Family” crew would have left their hippy parents in jail for several seasons. I recently watched a few episodes of “Family Ties” and was pleasantly surprised that the acting, writing, and gags hold up rather well. Let that be a lesson to today’s comedies that characters can actually be likeable to attract viewers.  

 All in the Thanksgiving

This is why you don’t talk about religion at Thanksgiving. Or politics. Or anything other than, “Pass the stuffing.”

A Garfield Thanksgiving

Not as good as the Garfield Christmas special, but anything involving everyone’s favorite orange cat and food is well worth a watch.

Tofurkey

I forgot how much I enjoyed “Everybody Loves Raymond.” I should phrase that differently. I forgot how much I enjoyed hearing my father’s belly laughs watching this show. Peter Boyle was at his best playing a crotchety old man (also see his performance in “While You Were Sleeping”). If anyone tried to pull this with my family, there would be fatalities (although, we’d probably still choke down the “bird”).  

Cranberry Sauce à la  Bart

You think Sean would let me post this without including a clip from “The Simpsons?” The cranberry sauce sliding out of the can makes me laugh every time.

For posts from The Boneyard, check out our full archive.

Table of Contents: Juvenile Hall Writers and John Swartzwelder's Long Lost Pilot

This guy strongly suggests you read this post.

Table of Contents is a series that collects stories from around the Internet that will inspire you to keep writing and reading. To share writing news with us, leave a message in the comments section or tweet us @WritersBone.

By Daniel Ford

Writing Hall

Teenagers at the Barry J. Nidorf Juvenile Hall are being encouraged to express themselves through creative writing by InsideOut Writers, a volunteer group that includes Hollywood executive producer Scott Budnick. "I'll be stressed out — I'll write about it," one of the inmates told The Los Angeles Times. "It's a good outlet. I don't have to fight somebody and dig a deeper hole." Powerful read that will further convince you of the lasting importance of words.

Turn That Soul Around

Michelle Huneven’s keynote address at Writing Workshops LA: The Conference, which took place on June 28, 2014 at the Autry National Center in Los Angeles, is chock-full of wonderful writing advice. Here are a few of my favorites:

“To write, you have to turn your soul around. And then you have to turn it around again, and again, because there’s always slippage. Even after dozens of years of writing, there is slippage.”

“We have to accept the fact that there will be interruptions, and develop our abilities to get back into writing a little more swiftly each time.”

“Writers have to be able to delay gratification. To work without immediate pleasures. To delay gratification in general is the great sign of maturity. In writers it is absolutely essential.”

Camp Out

This is kind of a weird story in The New York Times about Jeff Bezos hosting an annual literary weekend in Sante Fe, N.M. Bezos allegedly invites a dozen or so writers to the desert and showers them with high-end gifts and food. This year’s event gave attendees some agita because of Amazon’s current battle with the publishing company Hachette. So many great, pretentious, writer quotes in this one. You can hear the whining and desire to be feted without any consequences.

Female Geniuses

The website Bustle points out that “there aren’t any women writers on the 2014 MacArthur list aside from graphic memoirist/cartoonist Alison Bechdel.” Tori Telfer gives a worthy list of female writers that should have been awarded a grant, which includes Marilynne Robinson, Louise Erdrich, Meg Wolitzer, and others.

Doesn’t Answer the Question: Where is the Booth?!

Remember when Sean Tuohy wrote about the mysterious John Swartzwelder, a writer for “The Simpsons” who may or may not actually exist? Well, apparently, an old pilot he wrote called “Pistol Pete” has surfaced on YouTube. It’s a western. That sound you hear is Sean’s head exploding with happiness.

For posts from The Boneyard, check out our full archive.

Tunes and Loons: The Top 5 Musical Numbers From 'The Simpsons'

By Sean Tuohy

"The Simpsons" is filled with knee slapping and heartwarming moments, but the best moments for the yellow skinned family are the moments when they break into song and dance. In classic, over-the-top musical fashion, the show created toe tapping tunes that would get stuck in your head for days or years to come.

With an assist from my friend Michael Foley, I created a list of the top five musical numbers from "The Simpsons."

Please note: It is really hard to good quality video and audio for these songs, so I posted just the song with no video.

"See My Vest"

Oh, we see you there  Mr. Burns! Yes, the evil madman who runs the power planet is also a wannabe Broadway singer and dancer.

The Stonecutters

Who loves this song???! We do! When Homer joins secret group of power brokers they do what any power hungry song would do: break out in to song and dance.

"Monorail"

I don't have to explain.

"The Garbage Man Can"

He can do so much and there is no stopping him! When family man Homer runs for office, he soon bites off more than he can chew, which he explains to us in this triumphant number.

"We Put the Spring In Springfield"

Ah, you put the "ha" in my "hahaha" Springfield. This number explains how a new brothel is a good thing for the small all-American town.

For posts from The Boneyard, check out our full archive.

D'oh! 5 Jokes From 'The Simpsons' That Shaped My Humor Part 1

The Simpsons

By Sean Tuohy

Author's note: Major thanks to Michael Foley, who jogged my memory while writing this piece and gave me a couple great laughs.

On Sunday nights, the boob tube in my house was normally turned to Fox and, like any decent American child of the 1990s, I was rolling on the floor laughing at "The Simpsons." The yellow skinned four-fingered family, made up of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and little Maggie, have in one way or another shaped the humor of all of us who love animation, television, and snappy writing. "The Simpsons" was one of the few things I shared with my father growing up, I have built lifelong friendships watching it, and the foundation of my humor was built upon it.

Much like Daniel Ford's ode to "Parks and Recreation," I wanted to come up with five jokes that best sum up the show's 20-plus years of humor. Let's get started before I have to moonwalk out of the band room playing my saxophone Lisa Simpson-style.

Zap!

Filmmaker John Waters guest starred in this romp of an episode as Homer's new best friend John, who happens to be gay. This episode is so un-PC  and over the top and is a great showcase for makes "The Simpsons" so awesome.

Remember Which Lot We Parked In

Whenever I am in a parking lot of any kind I have to say this line. Have to!

Hello Everybody! Hi, Doctor Nick!

Why wouldn't you want the whacky Doctor Nick to take care of you? You would mostly likely die.

Gun!

I learned more about gun safety and gun control laws from this episode of television than I ever did watching CNN

Frogurt

Every Halloween you wanted two things: candy from strangers and to see the new Treehouse of Horrors.

So yeah, I have more than this. Stay tuned for Part 2, which I'll have finished as soon as I stop saying "excellent" and tenting my fingers à la Mr. Burns.

For posts from The Boneyard, check out our full archive.