By Gary Almeter
In celebration of Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen’s 67th Birthday tomorrow!
Bruce Springsteen, in an effort to break the elusive 12-hour concert barrier, has prepared the following set list for his next show (date and location TBD, but likely the swamps of New Jersey).
1. “New York City Serenade” (with string section)
2. “Born in the U.S.A.”
3. “Incident on 57th Street”
4. “Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)”
5. Bruce sings excerpts from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s 100 Years of Solitude
6. “Glory Days”
7. “American Skin” (41 Shots)
8. “The River” album in its entirety
9. “Badlands”
10. “Jungleland”
11. Bruce sing/reads excerpted chapters of Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Ubervilles while a solitary violinist plays in the background to give the other band members time to rehydrate and urinate
12. “Tunnel of Love”
13. “Brilliant Disguise”
Encore 1
14. “Streets of Philadelphia”
15. Bruce returns and sings excerpts from Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner to the tune of “Born to Run;” after, Bruce debuts a new song called “Born To Kite-Run”
16. “Born to Run”
17. “Hungry Heart”
18. Bruce sings Chapters 1-3 of Carson McCullers’s The Heart is a Lonely Hunter as a solitary trumpet player plays a sad melody; other band members permitted to go backstage to caffeinate and defecate
Encore II
19. “Atlantic City”
20. “The River” album in its entirety en Español
21. “My Hometown”
22. “Dancing in the Dark”
23. Bruce and the E Street Band perform Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” in its entirety
24. “I’m On Fire”
Encore III
25. “Thunder Road”/The Road by Cormac McCarthy medley
26. “My City of Ruins”
27. “The Rising”
28. Alanis Morissette’s “Jagged Little Pill” in its entirety
29. “Backstreets”
Encore IV
30. Bruce sings chapters of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking
31. “She’s the One”
32. “The River” album in Yiddish
33. While Bruce rehydrates, several members of the E Street Band perform numbers from their new project, which is coming to Broadway in Spring 2018, “JonBenet: The Musical!”
34. “Tunnel of Love”
35. “Human Touch”
36. Bruce and members of the E Street Band perform scenes from “Sophie’s Choice” set to Marvin Hamlisch’s original score
Encore V
37. “Land of Hope and Dreams”
38. Bruce sings portions of Night by Elie Wiesel
39. “Because the Night”
Encore VI
40. “The Ghost of Tom Joad”
41. Bruce sings John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath while the E Street Band plays homemade Depression-era instruments
42. “Pink Cadillac”
43. “Radio Nowhere”
44. Bruce sing/reads certain chapters of the novel Push: A Novel by Sapphire
45. “The River” album in Latin
46. “I’m Going Down”
Encore VII
47. A delirious Bruce sings songs by Pet Shop Boys, including “West End Girls,” “Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money),” and “What Have I Done to Deserve This?”
48. Bruce sings the last chapter of Angela’s Ashes while a band member plays bagpipes
49. “Born to Run” (acoustic)
50. Bruce ends the show by drinking an entire keg of beer, and then he crowd surfs back to his New Jersey home