Don’t Say Yes to the Stress: 7 Questions With Former 'Bachelorette' Star Desiree Hartsock

Desiree Hartsrock

By Stephanie Schaefer

Ever since my fiancé (Writer’s Bone co-founder, Daniel Ford) and I set a wedding date, I haven’t had as much time to read or contribute to the blog as I would like to. My free moments are filled with comparing color palettes on Pinterest, emailing wedding vendors, and traveling to trunk shows in hopes to find the perfect dress.

For these reasons, I was eager to get my hands on Desiree Hartsock’s wedding planning book and was even more thrilled when the former reality television star accepted my interview proposal. Below, Hartsock talks about her process for writing her first book, what attracted her to the wedding industry, and her advice for aspiring bloggers.

Stephanie Schaefer: First off, what inspired you to create a wedding planning book and what attracted you to the wedding industry as a career?

Desiree Hartsock: I first fell in love with the wedding industry while I was in design school and discovered my love for designing wedding dresses. I then went on to work at various bridal salons where that love grew and experience formed. I was inspired to write my book to help brides plan their wedding without any distractions or stress. I would constantly see brides so stressed out during the wedding planning and it should be a special time that doesn't create anxiety or worry. Also after planning my own wedding I was able to experience it for myself and wanted to share what I learned through it all.

SS: While working on your book, did you notice any similarities between writing and dress design?

DH: I suppose they are both creative pieces of work and have to go through a similar thought process. Just as a design comes to fruition by inspiration and thought out detail the book had to be planned out like a pattern to ensure it came together as a whole.

SS: How did writing for your blog and website prepare you for your book?

DH: The blog is an outlet to help brides with all aspects of wedding planning and wedding style so it definitely prepared me to write the book. The experience of writing for my blog allowed me to condense information in an easy to read and follow format that every bride needs to prepare for her wedding.

SS: What advice can you give others who want to launch their own blog?

DH: Running a blog is extremely time consuming and requires much attention to detail so I would say to make sure you want to and have the time to cater to the blog to make it successful.

SS: Much like launching a new project, planning a wedding can be overwhelming. Are there any stress-busting tips you can offer future brides (like myself)?

DH: The best stress busting tip I can offer is to take it day by day and moment by moment and to keep the end goal in mind: marriage. At the end of the day no one will know if the color of the flowers is slightly off or if a bridesmaid wore the wrong shoes.

SS: By the way, congratulations on your first child! Do you foresee writing a baby-related book in your future?

DH: Thanks! We will see. I have learned so much already as a new mother and hope to share some of that with other new moms.

SS: We ask all of our contributors to share a fun-fact about themselves. Care to share an anecdote?

DH: Fun fact…hmmmm. I can throw a football like no other (used to be a tomboy as a child). ;)

To learn more about Desiree Hartsock, visit her official website, like her Facebook page, or follow her on Twitter @DesHartsock.

The Writer’s Bone Interviews Archive

A Conversation With I’m Glad About You Author Theresa Rebeck

Theresa Rebeck (Photo credit: Monique Carboni

By Daniel Ford

Theresa Rebeck has written everything from award-winning Broadway plays to hit television shows (Admit it, you had “Smash” on your DVR).

Rebeck’s recently published novel, I’m Glad About You, features star-crossed lovers, Midwestern sensibilities, New York City Millennial drama, quippy dialogue, and plenty of dark, twisted angst. 

The author/screenwriter/playwright (when does the woman sleep!) graciously took some time away from her production schedule to answer my questions about her writing career, what inspired I’m Glad About You, and what aspiring authors need to do to succeed. 

DF: Did you grow up knowing you were going to be a writer, or is it a passion that grew over time?

Theresa Rebeck: I thought I was going to be a writer when I was about 3 years old. That’s not to say that I fully believed it. Even when I was young and a dreamer, it felt like a very bold choice. And certainly everyone I knew in Cincinnati thought I was somewhat insane to think that someday I might be a writer. 

There were a lot of other dreams in there. I dreamed of being a chemist, or a mathematician, or a doctor. I’m good at math and chemistry, improbably, so my pragmatic Midwestern roots argued in that direction. Eventually reality caught up with me, at which point that first dream looked more like what it was—determination. 

DF: You’ve written critically acclaimed Broadway plays and hit television shows. Were there any disciplines you learned that you were able to transfer to writing I’m Glad About You? 

TR: The novel remains a mystery and a challenge to me. One of the things you learn in the theatre and in TV is that you just have to keep working until you finish it, and then you have to finish it again. There’s a lot of forward motion, always. And that turned out to be a very useful tool to have in my toolkit when facing the complexities that arise in the writing of a novel.

DF: When you sit down at your computer to write, what’s your process like? Do you listen to music? Outline? Was your writing process for I’m Glad About You any different than your screenwriting process? 

TR: I think in screenwriting and in television writing, there’s generally too much outlining. So when I’m working in fiction, I try to keep things looser. I have a general idea of where I’m going, but I don’t want to have too much settled on before I’m actually writing. I feel like the writing reveals a lot of surprises and deeper secrets when you haven’t made too many decisions ahead of time. That’s not to say you should just go blindly into something, I don’t believe that. I try to hold some tension between what I know is going to happen and what I don’t know.

DF: What inspired I’m Glad About You? 

TR: I’m from Cincinnati and I live in New York. I used to think that at some point, those two aspects of my personal story were going to make more sense to each other.  But, they didn’t. And I became aware over time that this is a real problem in our country—I feel like no one knows how to talk to each other anymore, and I wondered what that would look like if I had a pair of lovers who ended up in that situation.

DF: Kyle and Alison could have easily been caricatures we’ve seen in past novels, movies, and television shows, but you ground them in reality and give them honest-to-god issues to wrestle with. How did you go about developing these two, and how much of yourself landed in each one? 

TR: Developing characters is something that comes to me over time. I did know when I started working on the novel that I was going to have Kyle stay in one place, and that Alison, by contrast, was someone who would rise, in visibility, in the wider world. Kyle’s journey was always going to be more and more interior, more and more isolated, more and more centered on this lonely quest for a spirituality that would often elude him. His innate decency is not enough, finally, for Kyle: He truly wants to be a good man. But what does that mean, to the soul? 

Alison’s journey is more like Sister Carrie’s, in a way: as she rises as an actress, she becomes more and more of an object. But Alison surprised me. She refused to accept that destiny. She never saw herself as an object, so she never fell prey internally to what was happening to her externally.

DF: As a playwright/screenwriter by trade, did you start with the dialogue and fill in the prose or did you have the story in mind and craft the dialogue organically? 

TR: I don’t do anything like that—start with the dialogue and then fill in the prose. I start at the beginning, and when I get to the end, I stop. And when I rewrite, sometimes I add things in, sometimes I take things out. Only one time in my life did I write a story in pieces, different scenes that weren’t connected, that were connected only later. If there’s anyone out there who writes the dialogue first and then fills in the prose, I’d like to talk to them. That sounds kind of interesting to me.

DF: How long did it take you to write I’m Glad About You? Did you settle on the novel’s structure during the writing or editing process? 

TR: It took me a really long time—it felt like a really long time. It took me about six years. I came up with the structure during the editing process. Because there are two sides in the story, I did have a lot of material I ended up cutting. It wasn’t clear to me from the onset how the two strands of the story would sit next to each other. So that was something that emerged with greater clarity as I worked on later drafts. 

DF: I’m Glad About You has garnered rave reviews from critics and readers alike. What’s next for you? 

TR: Right now I’m in pre-production for a movie I wrote starring Anjelica Huston, Bill Pullman, and David Morse. I’m directing it as well. And then I have some other ideas that are starting to emerge. I’m so compelled by fiction right now but it’s a lot of work, it requires a lot of space and silence and I haven’t had that lately. 

DF: What’s your advice for aspiring writers? 

TR: Learn how to finish drafts. So many people get caught up in the process and don’t ever see the point where it says, “The End.” So even if you have to push through sections that aren’t working—I’m not saying force it, though sometimes you do have to force it—finish a draft. Also, I think writing a lot is a good thing. Like practicing scales on a piano. The more you write, the better you get...hopefully.  Don’t be precious: learn how to cut. Learn how to edit.

DF: Can you please name one random fact about yourself? 

TR: I have the best collection on Earth of tiny stone bears. I also collect Peruvian retablos.  I guess that’s two facts but seriously the little bears are great and so are the retablos.

To learn more about Theresa Rebeck, visit her official website or follow her on Twitter @TheresaRebeck. 

The Writer's Bone Interviews Archive

Dooty Calls: ‘Enlisted’ Showrunners Kevin Biegel and Mike Royce On Their Careers and Why You Should Watch Their Show

By Sean Tuohy and Daniel Ford

After Sean wrote his love letter to “Enlisted” last week, he reached to the show’s writers on Twitter to see how interested they would be in an interview.

Showrunners Kevin Biegel (also known for “Cougar Town” and “Scrubs”) and Mike Royce (also known for “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Men of a Certain Age”—a personal favorite of mine) eagerly agreed to answer some of our questions even as they continued to fight hard to keep their show on the air.

The world needs as many well-written comedies as it can get, so do them a favor and tune in to “Enlisted” on Sundays at 7 p.m. on FOX. Biegel is also offering a steak dinner to any Nielsen family that tunes in. So there's that.

Daniel Ford: When did you two decide to become television writers?

Kevin Biegel: I'd always wanted to be a writer. I grew up making and loving movies, but never thought of it as a real profession. Early on after I moved to Los Angeles I got a chance to do roundtable punch up on some movies, and off of that experience I realized that I really enjoyed writing with a group of people like that. Television is pretty much that nonstop, so I decided to pursue it from there.

Mike Royce: I was a television-watching fool growing up and used to make Super 8 films with my friends during my tween/teen years. Then went to film school and started writing there but took a detour to be a standup comic during my twenties and much of my thirties. That led me back to TV writing when "Everybody Loves Raymond" offered me a job.

Sean Tuohy: Where did the idea for “Enlisted” come form? Was it from somewhere personal?

KB: It was very personal. I'm pulling stories and relationships from my life, my relationships with my two younger brothers, and also our feelings/my feelings toward the military because I grew up with it as a reality in my life. My father, grandfather, and uncle all served. I had written on “Scrubs,” and liked being able to write about specific character relationships that I was familiar with in a very specific workplace world.

ST: How did you pitch “Enlisted” to the network?

KB: It was basically as a workplace comedy, albeit a workplace you hadn't seen in a comedy for years. I was really specific about the characters, and also about the tone and feel of the show. I just wanted to ensure that they knew it was something big and inviting and joyous while also being serious at times—that it would shift from comedy to some more dramatic elements at times and then back to comedy. I really tried to show that they could co-exist like they had on shows I had always loved and that I hoped this show could be like in success.

ST: Sergeant Hill has PSTD, which is not a very funny topic, but “Enlisted” approaches in a real way. What research did you do in regards to PTSD? Do you think the show will help shed some more light on this issue? Have you had any feedback from members of the armed services regarding the show?

KB: We did a lot of research, talked to a lot of veterans and men and women currently serving. It was of utmost importance that we didn't fall into the harmful stereotype of "person back from war who is a ticking time bomb." That's not a fair view to take of men and women coming back from deployment, but it's one that a lot of shows unfortunately do because...well, maybe because it's easy, or maybe because they don't want to take the time to show a better, more honest portrayal for the majority of veterans. It's not funny, you're right, but we never intend it to be funny. We want it to be honest to the character, we want to be respectful of it, and we want to be able to address it in the middle of a comedy both because of the challenge and because it's the kind of show we want to make.

I like comedy that challenges me with more emotional stuff, that doesn't always just go "joke joke joke" and then you're done. We want to be funny first and foremost, but if we're going to do a show set in this world we have to address the tougher aspects of it. If we don't, I don't think we're doing a very good job. We've heard from a number of people in the military community, and we are absolutely humbled when they say that the show has helped them go get help, has helped them have a dialogue with their kids about their experience. That's amazing to us. Someone wrote the other day that “Enlisted” has started coming up in their group therapy, just as shorthand to talk about experiences that sometimes aren't so easy to talk about. That blows me away, and it makes me proud to be a part of the show.

ST: Did you receive any support from the Army?

KB: Initially we didn't, because they feared we were just going to mock them; that we were just another piece of pop culture that was going to make fun of them and their way of life. I think now that they see the comedy is coming from a group of people who have very personal connections with the military, they are more open to us in an "official" capacity. We had to prove ourselves, which is totally expected and cool. We should have to prove ourselves!

ST: “Enlisted” is part workplace comedy, part family comedy. Is it difficult to balance these two types of humor?

MR: You know it's funny because workplace comedies are about family in some sense...that group of people becomes a family. That's especially true in the Army—see the phrase "Band of Brothers." In this case we have the added dynamic of the Hill brothers working out their family issues but it just adds to the depth in my opinion. It gives us more places to draw from. I think given the chance to do future episodes we would delve into more family members of both the Hills and the other characters.

ST: Unlike other comedies that take time to establish their humor, “Enlisted” establishes it very well in the pilot. How long did it take the writing staff to discover the show's voice?

MR: Kevin established very specific voices for the characters right from the start. He is drawing from his own trio of brothers for Pete/Derrick/Randy so the back and forth and punching came right out of him. Command Sergeant Major Cody's voice also flowed right out of him, I don't know how but there was a specificity there that was hilarious and really clicked. Sergeant Perez’s badass quality too. Then our amazing cast took those words and their immense talent and took everything to another level. The other platoon members only had one or two lines in the pilot but they immediately showed off their many comedic talents (including some choice ad-libs) and we wrote to all that as quickly as we could.

DF: Workplace comedies used to be staples of the television landscape, but seem to be harder to develop audiences today. Do you think that trend will ever come back, or will these shows find a home on cable or online channels?

MR: There is a great flattening going on where most comedies draw similar numbers. Networks are trying to adjust their expectations. Comedies need nurturing and I think there's a slow recognition that it's okay to keep something that's doing "so-so" because today's "so-so" is tomorrow's hit in this day and age. That works better than constantly chasing “Big Bang Theory” numbers and ending up with even worse ratings than you had. And if you look at history pretty much every single mega-billion dollar comedy hit started out struggling.

DF: You've both been involved in great television shows with long runs, and television shows that were critically acclaimed, but struggled to find an audience. Has there been any point in your careers when you thought, "I need to do something else, I can't keep going through this."

MR: Everyday! But then I remember I have no other skills. I barely have these skills.

KB: Sure, then I see all the free food in the kitchen at work and I'm like, okay, this is pretty sweet. I should keep trying to do this. Work is all about free food, basically.

DF: What's the best part of working in a writer's room on a television show? What's one of the most memorable moments you had while writing "Enlisted" or any of your other shows?

MR: In a good group, you get to bitch and moan and celebrate and laugh your ass off. There's all these funny people around you making you laugh and then they pay you. It's honestly absurd (don't tell the studio).

KB: It's what Mike said. You get to hang out with funny people all day long, and thankfully they're all really kind and cool as well. We didn't hire one dick! I think as far as a memorable moment, I am kind of partial to that time we sat a table going, "Are we really gonna have a gun that makes people poo their pants? Really?" and then going all in.

ST: Is there any chance that “Enlisted” can live on while on another network?

MR: Yes! And that's all I can say right now. Well that and please watch our last four episodes, Sundays at 7 p.m. EST/6 p.m. CST.

KB: Tell every one of your friends to watch if they can, tell them to tell their friends, and if you can find a Nielsen family we'll buy them a steak dinner if they tune in.

DF: If this is truly the end for "Enlisted," at what point do you start developing a new idea for your next show?

MR: Pretty much now. I'm writing a pilot, but still focused on doing whatever we can for “Enlisted” first.

KB: Kinda always for me, actually. I love “Enlisted” with all my heart, but I'm a writer and I'm always working on something. I beat myself up a lot. I have to do it or I hate myself for not doing it.

DF: Name one random fact about yourselves.

MR: I have a full head of hair that I have hidden since age 25 under a bald cap.

KB: I know the name of every shark that swims in every ocean.

The Writer's Bone Interviews Archive

Water Yourself Daily: Actress Erica Rhodes On Her Creative Process

Erica Rhodes

By Daniel Ford

At 10 years old, I was awkwardly trying to make friends in elementary school.

10-year-old Erica Rhodes was sharing a dressing room with Allison Janney.

Rhodes, an actress best known for her work on “A Prairie Home Companion,” has barely taken a breath since her big break (which I guess you aren’t allowed to do when Garrison Keillor is your mentor), and has been featured in everything from a cult horror flick to a viral Web series.

I caught up with Rhodes recently and asked her about her early career, how she gets into character, and why it’s important to be creative every day.

Daniel Ford: When did you first realize you wanted to be an actress?

ER: I can't remember not wanting to be an actress. My Mom used to rent lots of old movies for me when I was a kid. I remember watching the Shirley Temple movies over and over thinking I could do that! But I think the moment I remember best is when I was 5 years old and I modeled a water bed. And I thought, "This is the life."

DF: You essentially grew up while working on NPR's “A Prairie Home Companion.” How did you land on the show and what lessons have you learned from Garrison Keillor and the rest of the cast?

ER: My mom is from the same hometown as Garrison Keillor (Anoka, Minn.). She is a violinist in Boston and asked Garrison to come and do a fundraiser for her Orchestra (the Pro Arte Chamber Orchestra of Boston). He kindly agreed. They got along very well and she invited him to see me in the Nutcracker (I played a party girl that year). Then we had dinner afterwards and the next day my Mom said he wanted me to be on his show. I had no idea what it was, but the next day I was sharing a dressing room with Allison Janney and performing in front of thousands of people. I have learned so much from Garrison and the rest of the cast Garrison has always pushed me as a performer and a writer. He has always believed in me. And he has taught me almost everything I know about comedy and performing for huge audiences. The rest of the cast also helped me every time I performed with them. Sue Scott especially took me under her wing a lot. Allison Janney taught me my first "vocal warm-up." I've also acted with Meryl Streep and Martin Sheen, so I learned how to hold my own with these great performers. I feel very lucky to have had the experiences I had on the show in so many different venues all over the country. It's really where I've felt the happiest over the years. Also whenever I have felt particularly low or frustrated with my career, Garrison has invited me back on the show. He has really been a lifelong hero of mine.

DF: Your career has spanned from cult horror films to award-winning indie films to television shows. Was your goal setting out to have a varied career, or did it just kind of work out that way?

ER: I think in the beginning, a performer wants to perform. So I wasn't very particular about what genre or format. But now I am choosing to go back to my comedic roots and just focus on that. Horror is fun, but can only take you so far. I would like to do more television in the coming years. That is what I am focusing on. Television and comedy.

DF: What’s your acting process like? How do you ease yourself into a character? What things do you think about or do while reading a script?

ER: Man. I used to do so much preparation and thinking. Now I try to think less and act on my instincts more. Because my instincts are usually closer to "right" especially for comedy. Now I just try to be myself and say the words or say my words. Just simply "be" I guess. And listen if it's a scene. And even in stand-up there is a lot of listening that goes on. For funny scenes, I try to find the funny moments between the obvious moments. I try to be surprising and unpredictable.

DF: You’ve been a part of three popular Web series—“Apt. 45,” “Upstairsgirls,” and “Sandy's Channel.” What attracted you to the roles and how was the experience different than working on a television show or movie?

ER: You've done your research! There's actually one more called “FourPlayinLA,” which my sister wrote. Apt. 45, I created with my friend Ileana Chan when I first moved to Los Angeles. I didn't know anyone and she was my neighbor. And we were friends from acting school in New York City. We came up with the idea of a newbie actress trying to get her non-actress neighbor into "the biz." Ileana did most of the work on that. But we co-created it and I starred in it. It actually helped me book “Upstairsgirls” which ended up being a much bigger Web series in the long run. I auditioned for “Upstairsgirls” and my role really wasn't invented yet. They were just looking for a "blonde" girl in her 20s who was good at improv. Sandy sort of evolved into the character after many episodes of experimenting and working off of the other actors. Sandy had a following so the producer, Scott Zakarin decided to have a spin-off channel just for Sandy. I liked working on web series, because I had a close and direct communication with the fans. But now I really prefer television and film, because there is usually a higher production value. Though I did learn a lot from all the hours I spent improvising and experimenting on the Web.

DF: What made you want to become a stand-up comedian and how has it shaped you as a writer and an actress?

ER: Stand up is very new for me. I've only been doing it for about a year and a half. But I am really enjoying it. I've always wanted to try it, but last year I felt frustrated with the audition process. And I wanted to take my career into my own hands. So it propelled me into stand-up. Because I have been performing since I was a kid, I really feel lost and aimless if I can't do it. It's truly what I feel most fulfilled doing. So I had to find a way to do it without someone granting me permission. I am also very lucky that my manager, Bruce Smith, is very helpful with the writing process. He reviews and edits all of my material before I bring it to the stage. I think I've grown so much as a performer and writer since last year. And I find it very rewarding to make something out of nothing. I learn something new every time I get on stage. So I am always growing as a writer and performer.

DF: You’re very active on social media. Do you find yourself using social media to interact with fans, test out material, or just have fun?

ER: I think I use Facebook for letting people know about my shows and maybe a little for fun. Twitter I use more for attracting fans and testing out short jokes. I read an article where Joan Rivers said if she were a new comic today, she would stay online all day every day, because it is such a good way to gain exposure quickly. So I do try to use them in a proactive way. Though occasionally I probably waste an hour or two here and there posting something stupid. Social media is a tricky thing to navigate. I'm still trying to figure it out. I wrote some jokes about it. Like, "My friends think I spend too much time on Facebook to get anything done in my real life, but my Twitter followers know how productive I am."

DF: If you could co-star in a movie with any actor/actress (alive or dead), who would it be and why?

ER: Peter Sellers! He was a comedic genius. I bet I would have learned a lot from him. I love him in every movie he was in, especially, “Being There,” one of my favorite films.

DF: What’s your best advice for up-and-coming actors and actresses?

ER: I always tell up and coming actresses to travel, travel, travel. That way I can have their auditions!

I'd say just make your own stuff as much as you can. Make stuff for yourself, make stuff for other people. Don't be a bump on a log. Do the Artist's Way and write every day. You're a creative being and you need to water yourself daily. So find ways for creative expression. Auditioning is just one way to get seen. Find the other ways, if that's not working for you. Also, it's really hard. Everything is hard. It's hard to get an agent, it's hard to book a job, it's hard to stay afloat. It's really, really hard. Give yourself credit for every little achievement. Don't look to others for approval. Give it to yourself. And mostly, take care of yourself as a person. As a human. Love yourself. Is that corny? Probably. But really. Figure it out. You'll be fine.

DF: Name one random fact about yourself.

ER: When I was a kid I took a gymnastics class once and I could stand on my head longer than all the other girls. I guess I have a flat head. I won a pack of gum.

To learn more about Erica Rhodes, like her Facebook page or follower her on Twitter @ericarhodes.

The Writer's Bone Interviews Archive